netlfix:

how the fuck do the kids in tv shows meet up for breakfast and talk before school

halalbacon:

The human brain is an amazing organ. It functions 24 hours a day from the day we are born and only stops when we are taking an exam

awolcas:

there’s this one girl at school who sends a mass text to the whole year group whenever she sees a dog so that we can go pat it too if we’re nearby and I have petted at least five dogs because of her that I wouldn’t have otherwise and idk I hope you all have someone like her in your lives

manateeluver64:

my 3 year old brother regularly paints his nails (rn they’re sparkly pink) and shows them off at preschool and all of his friends are so jealous bc their mom won’t let them paint their nails because they’re boys.

"my x men ability will appear soon i can feel it"
— me last year/two months ago/a fortnight ago/today/eight seconds ago (via hedlunds)

dadreversal:

gorillas don’t know any bodybuilding techniques so we have probably never seen one at full potential

plasticbagvevo:

lameust:

plasticbagvevo:

ketchupday:

plasticbagvevo:

never microwave a caprisun

what did you do

i microwaved a caprisun

following back  

i’m going to microwave you next

badsciencejokes:

There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.

assiest:

pool party and everyone’s invited!! bring your own pool!

party-in-the-morgue:

party-in-the-morgue:

What if prisons let prisoners take their own mug shots?

Cellfies